As of from thursday, 1st April,12 am till now.

I dont know. and i dont get it. I dont want to give up. I've done it too many times. I want to stick to it.

Why do you torture me such, oh little feather.
I've never donne such a thing to anyone. more like for anyone! WHY YOU? why do you have such an attraction over my life, over me?? WHY?

I've cried buckets, I feel cheap. This isnt me. I shall wait.

Thats all is runing through my head.

But i dont get it. like seriously. what did i do wrong. why land me with a 40 degree celsius fever. WHY? ugh. you would never know it. atleast not until you read this blog.

I dont want to feel such vulnerability. I am strong. But just what mistake did i Do? I try to be myself. THINK WHAT I WANT TO THINK. and POOOOFFFF there it all goes into thin air.

I have begged enough like a dog. Now, all i shall do is wait. and WAIT. and waiting is ****ing hell.

guys.

I dont get it. how can you go on with the next second without thinking of your problems. I mean if it were me...i would wanna solve tht problem and get on with life. like the way it is. the way its used to be. But no, i will wait.

god-dammit. there it goes. moist on the cheek.

hey, i found out something today. I am hell of a good actor at home. :D so proud.

But its all a lie. crumbled to pieces. like pea-NUTs.

I suck it all in and wait. gather whatever little self respect i have in myself.... and wait.

someone asked, why i choose to wait? and not move on?

the answer is tht moving on was and is never an option. GET IT? never!

ugh. i feel like a smashed sushi. like a lifeless vegetable.
terrible,
horrible,
vegetable.

It rhymed! yeay! argh!

I know whatever ive said is gonna sound perfectly wrong. But yeah. it is wrong.

i just want it as it was before. before these past few weeks. atleast before thursday.

I nvr meant to hurt anyone. Not intentionally. why such suckiness in my life.

sick.

from a sick bird,
kave.