crap.

as you all knw, i love to crap.
and when i blog, it barely... i mean it BARELY makes sense.

so i decided to crap again.:D

scream "yaaay" ppl......!:P

right....

i am nuts.

well....sitting at home is driving me insane.
i asked mummy to get a job. when everthing looks so blady promising, suddenly the job is gone. and i cant take it! i need to GET OUT! its gonna be hell for the next few months if not. i dun mind being super busy. but not like this.... SUPER Free....

and amma keeps giving me restrictions to read something. not go online too long. not to watch too much tv. BL ABL ABLA.//// i mean like seriously, WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO AT HOME?

grrr....

*sighs* al i do is take it in one ear...and take it out.

i am stupid. i get it.
ah, whatever la.

i dun care d.

malas. tell la whatever you want. yes, you are right. i am having the tell-la-whatever-you-want attitude.

:(

i have a dance show tomorrow. i dont think i make myself a good dancer. its a form of art i lost a very long time ago. still, i love doing it although i am not perfect.

i will not lost touch with it. i just need my stamina and THE REST back.

amma had actually promised to do my arrangetram if i get a scholaarship. Now that i think of it, i at times feel like doing it. and at times not.
i feel like doing it coz i think it would mould me, in the sense the torturous practices would mould me to become someone better, with more stamina and open my future in dance when it comes to dancing with master. I dont think im being selfish or jealous by saying this, but i realise that those who do their arangetrams or are planning to do, unless they are extremely good are the ones tht get to dance for the mega shows.

and i want to do so too. just because i missed my first chance of performing an out of johor show doesnt mean tht my chances of performing outstation again are closed right.
hmm....i know. i aint tht good for that shows.
For reasons tht i dont want to do my arangetram is that i feel it is an opening to everything. i mean, i want it to be a blast! but i dun think i have reached such a stage yet. i have yet to learn more and broaden my horizons. i dun wnat it to be the end, but my beginning to this form of art.

Such is my fate, the promise isnt fulfilled. i dont think it will ever be. maybe it isnt my thing and i should lay it to rest.

:)

i think i came here to blog about something and i am blogging about somethign else. :D
its okie. it happens. my brains are screwed. the weather is so hot here!

good night ppl,

from,
cookie kave.:D