In the morning.

I woke up in the morning....wt the faint sound of amma saying..."kaveiinaa wake up". i just said..okok. woke up redy. Found it hard to open my eyes coz it was swollen like some bee stung it.
weird??

i know. i was wondering why myself. and then i realised my whole cheeks were wet. So was my pillow. For a moment i thought i pee'd on my bed. but doesnt make sense right. I dont have a bladder anywhere near my face. So i concluded that i cried. sighs. why? dont ask.

I'm keeping my emotions under control. Can u actually cry for no blady reason? Or am i living in denial of the reason i actually cried? I'm hard-headed.a snob. a talkative pig. Yes all of it. I dont look like what i am upfront. and yes, i am fragile, although i dont admit it. i still dont, btw.

i woke up and went downstairs. Saw the two bottle of perfumes and thought...."ah, such sweet things". It was my first bottle of perfumes i got for MYSELF. lol. Eya is gonna spray it, i know. :D Nevertheless, the gift was still for me. I thank the person for his company and gifts and owh, the ghostie, for its superb atmosphere. lol.

Operate at your heart level and not your head level. There is a difference. I am yet to know it all. But i am not gonna let my emotions influence my intelectual capacity or my ability to think wisely. Wisdom comes with experience. and i have yet to gained it. But there is a question lingering on my mind right now.... Can you actually decide your destiny? Are you the one who decides your future? Coz there is a saying that goes, What man cenceives and believes in, he can acheive it. So can i? Or is there an external power called fate where our whole life is written in a diary up there?

If there is,? then why do they say work hard to acheive your success. In that sense, doesnt it mean that we actually decide our destiny, as the saying goes? I think we do. No matter what is written up there for us, true we cant change it. But at times, we cant rely on the four words, F>A>T>E. Not gonna work coz life is measured from how hard or how smart u work your way through it. So doesnt this saying apply for ALL aspects of our lives?


from the pondering mind of,
Kaveiinaa